


Wasted Years

by seewhoiam



Category: The Voice RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angels, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-15 17:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seewhoiam/pseuds/seewhoiam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blake Shelton's life is a mess. He doesn't sing anymore, his voice is broken. He drinks too much and he's an ass to everyone that tries to help him.<br/>Adam Levine is an angel that wants a higher rank in Heaven. But he won't get that until he fulfills one last mission.<br/>Save Blake Shelton from himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"This is it. This is it." 

Adam thought as he walked to the main office. All his hard work was finally going to pay off. His first two years as an angel, and he had the most impecable record of all his district. And he was going to be the youngest to be promoted upstairs. Taken, he didn´t really know what exactly he was going to find "upstairs" as the low rank angels didn´t really have much jurisdiction in Heaven. But with a little bit of luck, he was about to find out. 

It had been four years since he had started his job. He had no memories of his life before Heaven, or any idea if he ever had one to begin with. All the Angels got their memories wiped and forgot their lives on Earth when they got called to duty. And not every human became an Angel. But even with all the questions in his head, he still liked his job, which mainly consisted of to being a bodyguard for important people, or those who were going to be important eventually. His job was to make sure that those people´s destinies actually happened, that they made the right decisions when it counted. Obviously, the humans were the ones who ended up deciding what to do, Angels couldn´t actually make humans do what they wanted them to, but they could help them go down the right path. 

He was a bit tired of doing the same thing over and over again though. The people on his charge hadn´t really been that important to human kind. He wanted to do bigger things. He wanted to go higher. Literally. 

He finally got to his destiny and knocked on the door. Heaven wasn´t really how humans pictured it. They didn´t walk on clouds or anything close to that. It looked more like a normal city than anything else, really. Walking on clouds really did sound ridiculous to him, how humans believed that, he had no idea. Then there was the wings thing, they were beautiful, sure. But they were a nuisance most of the time. They were only visible in Heaven though, humans could only see them if the Angel let them. As they couldn´t be seen on Earth, they couldn´t be felt either, which was one of the reasons why Adam liked being down there. 

"Come in." 

Adam opened the door and let himself in. Gadreel, his district´s boss, was standing in front of his table looking at a bunch of papers. Probably reports from other Angels´ missions. 

"Oh. Adam. Sit down, I´ll be with you in a bit." Gadreel said. 

His boss was a good man. Or Angel. Or whatever. Adam was still a bit confused when it came to using those terms. He had been under Gadreel´s orders since he´d first entered Heaven. And he had always complimented him on his work. You didn´t want to make him angry. Ever. Adam had seen for himself when some of his colleagues had failed a mission, even if it wasn´t that important, succeeding was everything to Gadreel, and he liked discipline more than anything else. Failing him wasn´t a choice around there. Adam sat down on one of the chairs and waited for Gadreel to be finished with his work. 

After a couple of minutes, Gadreel put down the papers and sat down behind his desk. 

"Well, well. I´ve got to say, I am very pleased with the result of your last mission. I knew I was right sending you there. It´s probably your best work to date." 

"Thank you, sir." Adam responded calmly. 

"So, I am sure someone has already told you about the open position upstairs. And about the probability of you taking that position." 

"Y-yes, sir. There´s rumours going around if I can be honest." 

"Of course. Those are inevitable, even where we are. But as usual, those rumours aren´t completely true." 

Adam stayed silent as he could see that Gadreel hadn´t finished speaking yet. 

"Well, it is true I am considering recommending you for that job. But as you know, usually it takes up to 10 years for Angels to be promoted and you are still very young, though promising, I have to make sure you are ready for this as I would also be punished for making the wrong call in this case. Which is why, I´m sending you on one last mission. If you succeed, the job is yours." 

That was not what Adam had expected. But thinking about it, it made sense that they would want to make sure he was the right angel for promotion. 

"What is the mission, sir?" 

"Not an easy one." 

"A scientist with a cure for cancer? A politician with a solution to the economic crisis?" 

"No. Just a man who has lost his path." 

Adam certainly didn´t expect that as his defining mission. 

"This is all the information you need." Gadreel said handing him a visibly thin folder. 

"This is it?" 

"Yes." 

Every time Gadreel felt the conversation was finished, you just knew. And this was one of those times. So Adam took the folder with him and stepped out of the room. 

For his other missions, he usually checked himself in a hotel downstairs as it was a bother to keep going up and down between Heaven and Earth, and it also drained most of his energy. He decided he didn´t want to lose time, the sooner he got there the sooner he would be promoted and be done with the lesser humans. 

The trip to Earth usually left him a bit dizzy and tired. The first time he had flown to Earth he had ended up half across the world from the place he had wanted to go. He had learned to control it soon after that. So he opened the folder and looked at the location of his human. 

Oklahoma it was. 

*************************** 

Blake looked at his fourth shot of Whiskey before drinking it down like it was water. His body was so used to alcohol by now that nothing made him feel the sour taste in his throat anymore. Not that the rest of his body felt anything either. 

He stared at the bar´s wall. Pictures of him could still be seen there. Pictures of his moments of glory that had ended long ago. Before he had started to drain all his pain in alcoholic drinks and women and some crap he couldn´t even get himself to say outloud. He looked at the pictures, he was all smiles. His music was as succesful as ever, his career was on the rise and he had a beautiful wife and some good friends to help him down the road. He didn´t have anything anymore. 

He wondered when it all had changed. He wasn´t even sure why the hell it had changed. One day, he was at the top of the world and the next he was down in the darkest spot of the ocean, drowning without anyone being able to hear his cry for help. Depression had sunk in slowly, he had lost sigh of the future. His wife had left. He didn´t blame her. It had been him who had shut her out and forced her to leave. His parents had died thinking his son was a drunk and a failure who only cared about himself. His friends had stopped calling, and sometimes when his songs were played on the radio, people took it as if he was already dead and had died in his prime. Which would have been better than what the life he had now. Though he doubted he could even call what he had a life. 

He had buried himself so deep inside that he doubted his old self would ever be able to come back to the surface. 

His old agent called sometimes, telling him about this or that gig which would revive his dead career. The thing is, he didn´t want to go back. He was content with watching his life pass by, and he didn´t understand why. Why he was like that. He had tried counseling, and he had ended up giving a couple of people a black eye. 

He wondered where had all his strenght gone to. 

He was like that. He had those stupid thoughts when he wasn´t drunk enough, and that made him drink even more so that his mind wouldn´t be able to look at things clearly for even a second. 

He drank another shot and it seemed to work. He was back to staring blankly at his glass, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"Hey, do I know you? Aren´t you that guy from tv? What´s the name.."

Blake turned around to look at the guy talking. He had a smirk on his face that was just asking for his fist to be on it. But the owner of the place had made it pretty clear that he wouldn´t be allowed in there anymore if he got into another fight. So Blake tried to restrain himself. 

"Look, man. You must have me confused with someone else." 

"No, no! I´m pretty sure it´s you. Was it Steve something? How did that song go-?" 

Adam had really good reflexes. But he stood there as he watched Blake´s fist slowly go in his face. It hurt. And he now had a busted lip. But he had made contact. And that was the important thing. 

His mission had just started.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam usually used the same technique when approaching his missions, as he called the humans in his charge. He made them angry, made them put everything on the table and scream and shout and cry until they fell so down that they finally wanted to get up again. Only if that didn´t work he would tell them about his Angel status and try to explain to them why they were important. Though every person on Earth was important in their own ways, to other people, to family, Adam had to admit that some humans had a bigger impact in the Earth´s future overall, and needed to be reminded. If and when he ended up needing to tell a human that he was an Angel, they would never remember. The higher ups wiped their memories of the Angel that had helped them, but left the important stuff. Adam had always thought it was convenient, and very useful. Still, even if the human would never remember that an Angel had helped him overcome the difficulties, he didn´t like to tell them who he truly was. It was a nuisance to explain, most of them didn´t believe him and it took too much time to convince others, his way was easier. 

Adam had checked himself into a hotel not very far from Blake´s location. He wasn´t at home, but it hadn´t taken him long to find him at a local bar apparently drinking away his sorrows. And he definitely had a reason to drink. Adam thought. He still didn´t understand why this mission in particular was so important. He had heard a lot of sad stories in his four years as an Angel so Blake´s didn´t really stand out for him. 

He´d been a successful country singer, had thrown his life away, and he was alone. Pretty sad, yes. Why it was his mission to help him get back up, he had no idea. But he had his orders. 

It usually took a lot more for someone to punch him, but it seemed like Blake wasn´t having the best of days and hit him almost the moment he started talking to him. It was a good start, it was always better to be punched than to be ignored. It meant he still cared, and that made his mission easier. 

After punching him, Blake stepped out of the bar with difficulty after almost running into every table and chair in the place. Adam, of course, followed him. 

"It´s Blake right? Blake Shelton!" Adam shouted behind Blake´s back once he was outside. 

That seemed to anger Blake even more as he stopped walking to turn around and give him a deadly look that would have sent shivers down anyone´s spine, even his, strangely.

"What happened to you man? You can´t even walk straight." 

"Walk away while I´m still being nice." 

"Well, come get me, I´m waiting." Blake started walking towards him. 

Adam couldn´t help but be a bit turned on by the situation. He never said no to a good fight. He always wondered if he had been a boxer in his past life. Blake tried to throw another punch at him but Adam avoided his fist easily, as Blake was too drunk to even fight. 

"You´re gonna have to try harder." Adam teased. 

That seemed to work on Blake, as five seconds later he had Adam pushed against the wall. Adam was really curious about what was going to happen next, he wasn´t really worried about getting hurt because it would heal later, he wanted to know what kind of person Blake was. Blake looked at him right in the eye. A weird feeling started to form in the pit of Adam´s stomach but he couldn´t identify what it was. Now that he looked at him closely, Blake didn´t have big eyes, but he still could see a bit of brightness inside of them. The spark was still there. Blake lowered the pressure with which he was holding Adam by the collar and suddenly, just let him go. Then the feeling vanished and Adam didn´t think much of it, he had more important things to do. 

"Just leave me alone. I´m not that person anymore." Blake said before turning around and walking away. 

Adam decided that was enough for the first encounter and let Blake go on his way. He wanted to finish the mission as soon as possible but rushing things had never proved to make things easier. He would continue the next day, the trip to Earth had left him exhausted and he needed to sleep. 

Adam woke up early the next morning, ready to put his plan to work. He took his cellphone and dialed a specific number he had found in Blake´s information folder. Adam hated phones, but they had proved to be useful. He had gone on without one at first because he could always hear his "missions" when they called him, but since most of them didn´t know that, it was better to use the phone. 

"Hello?" said someone at the other end of the line. 

"Hello, is this Blake Shelton´s manager?" Adam asked. 

"Yeah, that´s me. But I´m afraid my client isn´t really avalaible at the mo-" 

"That´s okay. You are fired. Just thought I´d let you know I´m Blake´s new manager."

"Is this a joke? Who the hell are you?" 

"I told you, I´m his new manager. Don´t bother calling him, your contract expired a couple of weeks ago and I will take legal action if you insist on harassing my client. Goodbye." 

Adam hung up the phone. He was such a good actor when he put his heart into it. Maybe he had been an actor and not a boxer. He thought. From the information he had, Blake´s old manager had been taking large sums of money from him without his consent. Blake had been too busy being drunk and had probably never noticed. His manager was an asshole that only cared about the money and Blake would still have a career if it wasn´t for him. He had leaked most of Blake´s personal life to the press and had made himself rich in the process. And even after that, he was still sucking the little blood Blake had left in him. The first step to helping Blake was getting rid of that kind of people. 

One down. 

Adam didn´t think the manager would say anything to Blake. He would probably disappear if he knew what was good for him. Too bad Adam had already called the police and informed them about the suspicious sums of money in his bank account. Now came a more difficult task. Tell Blake that he was his new manager, which would probably lead to more punches thrown at his face. 

Adam had ended up checking himself into a small motel in town, not far from where Blake´s parents´ old house was. It was the nearest motel he could find. It was definitely not what he was used to, he usually went to five star hotels and stayed in the best suites. But he now found himself in a room that smelled really weird and with the feeling that the ceiling would fall down any moment. Everything looked old and he was sure he had a rat as a roommate. But if he got that promotion, it would all be worth it. 

He stepped out of the motel and got on his way to Blake´s house. It was the only thing his parents had left him, and when his career sank, Blake had come back to that house. 

Adam couldn´t have been walking for more than ten minutes when he reached the house. Looked old as hell as well. And Adam had the feeling Blake wasn´t much of a tidy man. He had to admit he was a bit afraid to go in there. He didn´t know if he had always been like that or if it was an Angel thing. But he liked things to be clean. Well, he could always make Blake clean if it was dirty. 

Adam walked across the porsch. There was almost no grass, and the little he saw was almost dead. There was nothing there, an old chair next to the main door and a couple of empty bottles of whiskey on the floor. It was a sad view. He finally got to the door and knocked on it. He could´ve let himself in but he wanted to be a little bit more polite this time around. 

Adam waited and finally heard footsteps behind the door. 

"I´m not buying anything so go away." Blake said without even bothering to open the door. 

God, was that man ever in a good mood? Adam thought to himself. 

"I suggest you open the door Blake. You´re gonna want to hear what I want to say." 

A minute later the door opened and Blake was standing in front of him. He looked like hell, bags under his eyes, messy hair. He probably had just got out of bed and he was still in his underwear. 

"And who the hell are you?" 

Good. Adam thought. He didn´t even remember him from the day before. 

"Hello. I am your new manager. I´m afraid your old one has had some legal problems so I was sent here." 

Blake didn´t seem surprised at all to hear about his manager. 

"So what? There´s nothing for you to manage anymore. I don´t know if you´ve heard but those days are over." 

"Well, that´s probably because you´ve been here sitting on your ass for the last couple of years, feeling sorry for yourself. I´m here to clean up your mess and I won´t have no for an answer."

"How about a fuck you for an answer?" Blake said before slamming the door in Adam´s face.

Before Adam could reply he felt a striking pain in his head that made him fall on his knees. He held his head with his hands and couldn´t help but let a scream out. His four years as an Angel, he had never felt anything like that. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the pain, it came from somewhere in his head, he felt a hole in his mind, and it hurt so much. Two minutes later, the pain was gone as fast as it had come. But he was tired, he wanted to sleep for a while... sleep. 

Adam didn´t know how much time it had passed but he woke up to water being poured on his face. He opened his eyes and saw Blake standing in front of him with a bowl where the water had probably come from. 

"You´re alive. Good. Now get off my property." Blake said. 

Adam was about to complain when the pain came back in full mode. He felt a ringing in his ears, like his head was about to explode. In four years, he had never found himself in a situation where he was the one who actually needed help. He was inmortal, but if his head actually exploded he wasn´t sure how alive he would be afterwards. 

"I´m warning you, if you want to die, do it somewhere else. I have enough problems of my own." 

And there he was with the sarcasm again. Adam had only talked to him twice, but he couldn´t stand him already. Blake must´ve changed his mind or Adam must have looked really sick because a minute later Blake was helping him up and getting him inside. But the pain wasn´t going away. The hole in his mind kept getting bigger and bigger, it was like an emptiness that was devouring him from inside. Soon after, he felt asleep. 

Maybe he had underestimated the mission after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Blake looked at the man laying on his living room's sofa. His new manager. Ha. He hadn't believed that for a moment until he called the agency and they actually confirmed they had sent that guy to manage him. It's not like he thought his career was anywhere near being revived, the only reason he had taken him inside is that he didn't want to have any problems with the law for ignoring a sick person. He had enough problems to deal with as it was. 

He didn't look so sick anymore though, it seemed like he was just sleeping. What a waste. Blake couldn't wait to get that man out of his house. He had no intention of even listening to him. Once he woke up, he was out of there.

 

**********************************

 

Adam woke up, still feeling the pain in the back of his head. He opened his eyes slowly, to find Blake sitting across the room looking right at him.

"Finally he dares to wake up." Blake said, with a sarcastic tone Adam did not appreciate.

"I don't know what happened."

And for once, Adam actually meant what he was saying. He had no idea what had happened. In his four years as an Angel, never he had felt such pain, nor any pain at all for that matter. 

"Makes two of us. But I don't care either way, so now that we've got that settled, leave."

Adam stood up slowly, afraid that the pain would be back once he moved. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the light, he felt as if he had been sleeping for years, but apart from that his body felt normal again.

"I'm not done with you, sir. I suggest you get ready for tomorrow, cause you have the interview that will save or bury your career forever."

Before Blake could say a word Adam was out of the house. He wanted answers. What had happened to him was not in anyway normal for an Angel. He had heard of Angels having extreme physical pain before, but this had been different. He wasn't sure whether to ask his superiors or not. They would probably consider his pain as a sign of weakness and it could even affect his promotion. He wasn't about to risk that. As long as it didn't happen again, there was no need to tell anyone. 

Adam didn't have to check with Gadreel for another day so he went straight to his hotel room to prepare for the next part of his mission. He had got Blake an interview on a really popular late night show, for which he'd had to use a bit of blackmailing along with his powers of persuasion. But it was a first step to his promotion and being done with helping stupid humans that only knew how to ruin themselves and the people around them.

 

**********************************

 

Blake passed the rest of the day as he usually did, only he didn't go out because he didn't want to be bothered by his new manager. He was afraid he'd run into him at the bar again so instead he stayed home and drank himself to sleep.

He woke up the next day not feeling so good. He had a headache, but the worst of all was the soreness in his body. He could barely move his hands, and standing up in the mornings was becoming more difficult each day. Blake picked up a bottle of aspirin from the bedside table and put a random number of them in his mouth before swallowing them down with the little bit of whiskey he had left from the night before.

The memories from the day before flooded in when he stood up to go to the kitchen and get a cup of coffee mixed with whatever alcohol he had left. He would be damned if he was going to let that man inside his house again. He didn't want to hear any more stuff about reviving his career because he wanted it to stay dead. He wanted it to stay like he felt. Waiting for the day when his body couldn't take the abuse he himself did to it anymore.

When Blake was about to pass out on the sofa he heard a knock on the front door. 

"Crap... not again." Blake said to himself. 

He tried to ignore it at first, but it was getting louder each time and his headache was getting worse so he finally decided to open the door. 

There standing, was the guy who claimed to be his new manager, whose name he realized he didn't even know yet.

"I told you, I don't know what you have planned, but I don't want any of it, so you can go back to the company and tell them I'm not doing anything. My contract is over and it´s going to stay that way."

"I'm afraid not, Blake."

Adam looked at Blake through the tiny space of the door he had opened. He looked even worse than the last time he'd seen him. Adam still couldn't figure out why the hell it was so important to save that man when it was clear that he didn't want to be saved. But heaven's orders were heaven's orders and Adam had a lot of cards up his sleeves, and he was about to use one.

Blake watched as Adam took something out of his pocket and waved it in front of him.

"Take it. It was you who signed it to begin with."

Adam was starting to get on his nerves, so Blake took the damn thing. It was a piece of paper.Blake unfolded it, and as he read it his expression changed.

"See? Your contract is far from over. In fact you still have another year. And the company is really tired of losing money because of you.You have two options. Number one, come with me and do the interview I booked for you in which you will talk about the new album you're working on or number two, do nothing. Sit here on your ass until the company sues you and you lose this house, because I'm sure you don't have anything else to pay them back with."

Blake looked so mad that Adam was afraid he was going to punch him again. But he didn't. Instead he closed the door and ten minutes later, he was out again looking a lot more like a normal person and ready to go wherever Adam was going to take him.

"I must say I'm surprised at how professionally you're handling this Blake. I thought you were gonna start throwing punches again."

"Oh believe me. There's nothing in this world I'd rather do right now than punch you in the face repeatedly." Blake stopped to take a deep breath. "But I can't lose this. Not this house."

Adam looked at Blake, who had gone from angry to sad in a matter of seconds. Adam knew that the house had belonged to Blake's parents, but he had no idea why it meant so much to him. He had a long way to get to understand why humans attached themselves so much to physical possesions. It made no sense to him. The loss of a soul, he could understand, the loss of an object? Not so much.

"Alright then, let's go get a taxi and then we'll talk about what you're gonna say in the interview on the way over."

"A taxi? No way. We're going in my car."

"Fine. Then give me the keys, I'll drive."

Blake let out a loud laugh. It was the first time Adam had seen him smile since he had met him, and it was beautiful. I'm going to get this man to smile again, Adam thought to himself.

"You think I'm going to let you drive my baby? You're crazier than I thought."

"Baby? It's a damn car. If you humans valued others around you more than objects then the world would be a better place and there would be no need for any of us to be down here."

"Well, seems like I'm not the only one who's already drunk in the morning. I have no idea what the hell you just said, but you're not driving."

Adam was relieved Blake didn't give what he said much thought. Either way, it's not like he was going to be found out for saying something that sounded like nonsense to a human.

"It will be really helpful for your career when you get arrested for drunk driving and it's all in the papers tomorrow."

That seemed to work and Blake finally gave him his keys and both headed to the car which was parked right outside the house.

"Wait a second." Blake said before Adam could get in the car.

"What is it?"

"You keep saying you're my new manager and I don't even know your name."

Oh yes. Adam had completely forgotten about introducing himself formally.

"Sorry about that. My name is Adam."

When those words came out of his mouth it seemed as though time froze, the wind got really cold and the ground froze under their feet as if a storm was coming. Adam looked as tears welled up in Blake's eyes and in the split of a second, the moment was gone.

"Crap, this wind is not doing any good to my eyes." Blake said before finally getting in the car.

Did he feel that as well? Adam thought to himself. He didn't know why, but it seemed that this mission might just be as important as Gadreel had said. After all, he kept experiencing things he didn't understand every time he was around Blake.

"Not getting in?"

Blake's voice made him snap out of his thoughts. He would have time to investigate later, but it was crucial that the interview went well for Blake, if not it was going to be a lot more difficult to fix later on.

And despite Adam's efforts, it would turn out that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m back! I´m so sorry this took so long. I was busy and not very inspired, but updates are going to be faster from now on. Promise! Thanks for reading as usual! And thanks to my lovely beta sourpatch-k@tumblr :D


	4. Chapter 4

Adam drove while Blake looked out of the window quietly. It had been about five minutes and Adam was starting to get anxious about Blake not complaining during such a long time. And he didn't like the silence anyway. He liked to listen to stuff, which didn't need to be Blake talking necessarily, but even the sound of the wind was better than nothing. Nothing was what he remembered of his time before being an Angel. He had never mentioned it to anyone, not that he had anyone to actually talk to anyway, he was afraid to even say it inside his head. Being an Angel meant you were a celestial being. Something whole and peaceful, and he couldn't deny that he had felt something similar to peace in his years in Heaven, but he still didn't feel whole. His insides felt torn, like someone had ripped a really important part from him and no matter what happened, that empty space would always remain inside of him. And that scared him more than anything, to have to live an eternity feeling incomplete. That was something he hadn't signed up for.

Blake's voice suddenly brought him back to reality.

"I've been thinking about it since I got in the car, but I got nothing. So, is there any way I could get out of doing this?"

Adam chuckled. So that's why he'd been so quiet.

"Sadly, no. I told you, for at least the year you have left of contract, you need to make the company happy, and that means money. You're going to do this interview. And don't worry, I talked to the producers and they're not gonna ask anything compromising. I told them clearly, questions about your new album only. That's it. You'll be fine."

"Wait, what? Who said anything about a new album?"

"Well, I thought it was implied."

"It's not. I may have another year of contract, but I never signed anything about making another album."

"You gonna make me bring out the papers again, Blake?"

"Whatever. I'll talk to the company myself and clear up this mess."

"Fine, suit yourself. But they're gonna tell you the same thing I just did."

Blake didn't answer. Adam wondered if there was more to his story. He had every important fact about him written down on paper, but something wasn't right. He understood that the last few years had been hard for him, but reaching the point Blake had wasn't something that happened overnight. Having been human himself, Adam was weirded out by how little he empathized with human emotions. If he was Blake he would try everything to be on top again and rub it in the faces of all the people who lost his number when he lost the fame and the money. Adam knew that some humans were stronger than others when it came to the difficulties in life, they were all programmed differently and that was alright, but he knew Blake had it in him to be strong, he could feel it in his gut. He just didn't want to, and that's the thing that Adam didn't understand the most. And he wanted to. Maybe it wasn't crucial to the mission, but this mission wasn't like anything he'd seen in the books. 

"Can I...?" Adam stopped at the exact same moment when he realized he was asking something because he really wanted to know and not because it would help the mission. But if it helped HIM understand... "Can I ask why are you so uninterested in doing things that would actually help you achieve something?"

Blake looked at him, his gaze lost in another place that was beyond Adam's eyes. Somewhere that Adam couldn't get to yet.

"No." Blake said looking away. For a moment he had lost track of time, it had been a dream that lasted for about ten seconds and still he couldn't remember what he was seeing that had made him so sad all of a sudden. The only thing he did know was that the last he needed at that moment was someone pitying him or pretending to be interested in him at all. He'd had more than his share of that, and he was tired of it all. The pretending, the lies, the friends that never were, the people that left and the ones that stayed to feel good about themselves. He didn't want any of it.

They finally arrived at the television Studio where the interview was to take place. Blake couldn't help but notice how bad of a driver Adam was and a little smile formed on his lips when he watched Adam's failed attempts at parking in a decent manner. Adam didn't fail to notice Blake laughing at him quietly. Adam had indeed driven after being made an Angel, but only a couple of times. It hadn't changed much from when he was a human, but he wasn't so good at it anymore. However, he was glad to see Blake blowing off some steam before the interview. It was nice seeing him like that.

"I'm gonna have to drive more often if you're having such a good time watching." Adam said jokingly.

The moment he said that Blake's smile disappeared and after coughing loudly to hide his embarrassment for having been caught he got out of the car. 

"Humans..." Adam whispered before getting out of the car as well.

Blake then followed Adam inside the studio. The show Blake was scheduled to participe in was one the late night shows with the best ratings so if Blake behaved, it was really going to help boost the image he had destroyed in the last few years. That wasn't going to be nearly engouh to get him where he was, but it was a start.

Adam left Blake at his asigned dressing room to get ready while he went to look for the host, David Letterman. He was known for being harsh and intrusive with some people and being a suck up with others. He had also been known for making some inappropriate jokes from time to time, which is why Adam had made a deal with him beforehand.

"Mister... Excuse me, I had somehow managed to forget your surname?" David asked the minute he saw Adam walking in the room.

"Adam's alright."

"Oh yes, Adam. How's our guest today?"

"He's good, ready to make a comeback."

"Of course, of course. Aren't we all. If you'll excuse me, I gotta go over the questions for the interview once more before starting. See you after the show."

Adam watched as David walked away and he prayed for everything to go smoothly, his mission depended on it. But at that moment, he was more worried about Blake than anything else.

Half an hour later, everything was ready and the audience members were all seated and cheering for David to come out. He came out with his usual routine, starting with the monologue as usual, talking about politics, some gossip about famous people Adam was glad he didn't know and his dated jokes and references, and then it was time to bring out Blake. Adam wondered if he should have gone to see him before the show had started. But it was too late now, as Blake was already entering the set and shaking hands with the presenter.

Blake sat down on the sofa reserved for the guests while he tried to hide the way his whole body was shaking. It had been a long time since he'd been on TV, and he had to admit he wasn't nearly ready to face the world again. The minute he sat down he already regretted not having sold the damn house to the company. 

"Well Mister Shelton!"

"B-Blake's alright." 

"Yes Blake, our first guest tonight and what a guest am I right? How long has it been since you've been on Tv Blake?"

"Mmh. Well, quite a long time, I don't remember to be honest."

"That's alright! Drinking does that to you sometimes! I'm surprised you even remember who you are!"

Adam's eyes widened as much as Blake's when he heard that. What the hell was that jerk doing? 

Blake didn't even have time to think of an answer before David continued.

"We've been told you are quite the party animal! Here are some pictures of you with fans."

Pictures were shown on the big screen. Each one worse than the other. Most of them were paparazzi pictures of Blake coming out of bars drunk or going after the photographers. 

"Well I hope you won't hit me since I am not the one taking any pictures! Quite the temper you got there.. I thought country guys were supposed to be sweet?"

Blake contained himself. As much as he wanted to hit him, doing that on national tv would be worse than what was happening right now.

"Yeah, those are some crazy times, but I'm here to talk about my album."

"Yes of course! How could I forget? Let's hear a new song then! Bring out the guitar!" David said as one of the people of the crew brought out a guitar and put it next to Blake.

When Adam saw the look in Blake's face as people cheered for him to sing, he knew he had to get him out of there. Fuck the show and fuck the mission! Blake looked torn between falling over or standing up  
and kill everyone in the room in the worst ways possible. 

Blake looked at the guitar. That damn thing. He hadn't touched one in such a long time nor he was about to. He had promised himself he would die before singing or playing the guitar again. He hadn't played in such a long time that he wasn't even sure he'd remember how to make the proper notes or stay on pitch. Nostalgia hit him as he remembered how alive he felt when he sang, how free. But he couldn't, never again.

His shaking got worse as the presenter kept insisting and offering him the guitar. His mind went elsewhere while his body was frozen in his seat, unable to move, unable to speak, but as his eyes started to go as well he managed to keep them focused on something, someone. He watched as Adam ran to the side of the set and shouted something while some guys kept him from walking any closer.

Adam tried to get to Blake while the security guys held him off, but Blake was so still that the presenter seemed to freak out a little and went to commercials. Adam then finally was able to get security off him and get to Blake. He ran to him and grabbed his arm strongly. 

"Hey, we're done here. Let's go."

Blake finally snapped out of it and looked at him, Adam's hand seemed to unfreeze him and the blood returned to his veins. That's when instead of fear, anger came in. Blake stood up, ready to crush David to pieces but the pressure of Adam's sure and steady grip held him off.

"Don't do it. You're the one who has the most to lose." Adam whispered in Blake's ear.

"You're wrong. I don't have anything like that." Blake said trying to shake himself loose.

But Adam grabbed him again and pulled him close.

"You have me. Let me do this for you."

Before Blake could say anything Adam stepped forward and faced David. The presenter was about to say something when Adam reared back and punched him with as much force as he would allow.

"No one messes with me."

Adam said as David held his face in pain.

"Or him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who´s leaving kudos and comments :)


	5. Chapter 5

In the heat of the moment Adam hadn't even realized that Blake had disappeared from the set. When he had turned around to see if he was okay he was gone. Adam managed to avoid the security guys, who were too busy attending to David to worry about him.Adam went straight to Blake's dressing room. When he got there he tried to open the door but it was locked, which meant that Blake was in there, probably drinking the whole mini bar. 

"Blake! It's me, open up!"

No answer.

"Look, I know I told you it would be fine... I was wrong and I'm sorry, but locking yourself in there isn't gonna change anything. Why don't we get out of here first and then you can blame me for this mess all you want."

Still no answer. And Adam was starting to get really worried. Not that he wasn't before but the locked door and the silence were definitely not a good sign. He thought about tearing the door down, but he decided to wait for a little while first, and so he sat down with his back on the door. The silence he was met with felt heavy with sadness and anger.

He could feel Blake behind the door, breathing heavily and clenching his fists in agony. He didn't know what had made him think that taking him there would be a good idea. How could he be ready to face the world when he wasn't even ready to look at himself in the mirror? 

Blake stayed quiet until Adam seemed to give up and stopped talking. But he didn't leave. "Why?" Blake thought to himself. He was supposed to leave like everybody else. 

Blake poured himself another glass of whiskey. He had screwed up, big time. And he wasn't supposed to care, he hadn't for a long time. But somehow, he'd still taken that tiny bit of hope he had left in him and thought that maybe he could actually get back on top and everyone would love him again. He had obviously been wrong. So wrong, and he could only blame himself for believing that he still had it in him to be strong. 

He looked at the guitar. He hadn't even realized that he had taken it back with him for some reason. He still had his. He had wanted to throw it away for so long but he couldn't bring himself to do it. So now it was in the basement of his house, in a dark place where he couldn't see it. It had so many memories within it he didn't want to remember.

While he had lost himself in his thoughts, he realized he had taken the guitar and it was in his hands now, sitting on his lap and waiting to be played. But he couldn't. He had promised... Or could he?

Blake sofly put his thumb on the sixth chord and stroked it gently. 

That sound...

After five minutes waiting for Blake outside the door, he finally heard something. That sound... That sound hit him like lightnening and travelled throughout his whole body, making his insides burn and then there it was again. That pain in his head, the hole. Adam put both of his hands on his head, as he begged for it to stop. He was screaming but he couldn't make a sound, he was dying but no one could see. 

Only one.

Blake was startled when he heard a scream coming from outside. Adam. He ran to the door and opened it only to find Adam passed out on the floor. He looked around but there was no one to call for help.He tried to wake him up but Adam wasn't listening. Suddenly Adam opened his eyes, but those weren't his eyes, they were all white. Light was pouring through them as Adam looked like he was about to scream again and break all the windows in the place. 

Blake didn't know what to do, but staying there wasn't going to help him so he grabbed Adam and lifted him up in his arms. 

He then ran outside the building and carried Adam to the car. But when he was about to get him in the other man seemed to regain consciousness so Blake put him down carefully and let him rest on his shoulder so he wouldn't fall.

"Hey, you okay there?" Blake asked. 

Adam tried to adjust his eyes to the light and make sense of what was going on. Then he remembered.

"It happened again." 

"You bet it did. what the hell's wrong with you, man?"

"I know, I'm sorry if I caused a scene, I know you've had enough for today. But, I can't seem to control this."

"N-no, I mean. IS there something wrong with you? Are you sick? Shouldn't you go to a hospital?"

Adam looked at him. Blake's face looked as if he had just seen a ghost. 

"Did I... you know, say something while I was out?"

"No, you didn't. But there was some crap going on with your eyes, I almost passed out right there with you."

"That's weird, th-that's not supposed to happen."

"Well, freaking tell me about it!"

"Okay. I feel fine now. Thanks for, you know, helping me."

"What was I supposed to do, leave you there? What if you had died or something?"

Adam knew it wasn't exactly the right moment to laugh or feel good but he couldn't help himself. It was not the first time that his "missions" had shown some kind of feeling for him but it was the first time that he could feel something back. He couldn't be sure if the hole inside himself was getting smaller or bigger with each second that he spent with that man.

"Lemme get this straight. You just almost died on me, and you're smiling about it?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. It's just that I'm glad that you were there to help, that's all."

Blake looked annoyed now. He'd been caught.

"Whatever. Just don't get used to it."

"I won't." Adam said as he realized that Blake was right. He couldn't get used to that, to feeling human emotions. To feeling for Blake. He had to get himself together. His mission was a broken object that he had to fix, there was nothing in it for him if he got too attached to that object.

"So, hospital?" Blake asked.

"What? Nah, I'll just make an appointment for a check up soon, don't worry about it."

"I'm not." Blake said. But oh, he so was. That was the second time that had happened, and he had known the man for like two minutes but it was not because he cared specifically about him, he would behave and feel exactly the same way if it was another person. Or that was what he kept telling himself. Do not care. The last time you cared, nothing good came out of it, and he couldn't afford to get hurt again. He didn't have space for more scars.

"Okay. Let's go back to your place to talk about our next step. I'm going to try to talk to some people I know and see if we can stop this show from airing, but if not, we gotta go through our options."

"People you know? You gonna kill someone?"

Adam cackled. 

"Obviously not, dummy. How's that gonna help?"

"It would've helped me a great deal if I had killed that jerk back there."

Adam wasn't sure if he was serious. If not, was Blake actually making a joke? 

"well, that's a first."

"What is?"

"That's the first time I've seen you crack a joke at something."

"It was not a joke."

Adam's smile disappeared. Getting a promotion was going to be hard if Blake ended up killing someone.

"But that was." Blake said smiling as he started driving.

Adam stared at him all the way back to his house. His features were rough, and all the heartaches and disappointments from the past could be seen in his face from miles away. At least Adam could. And he could count them one by one, he saw them all. 

Half an hour later, they were already at Blake's house and Adam sat on the sofa while Blake was upstairs getting out of the stupid suit he had worn to the interview.

Adam knew he had to give his first report about the mission later that day. And he was afraid, but he was going to have to ask about the pain in his head. It had happened twice, and that was already too many times. Maybe it was some kind of Angel migraine and that's why it was so painful, as they were superior beings. He didn't know, but was going to have to mention it to Gadreel, that is if he hadn't already been informed. He always had eyes everywhere so he wouldn't be surprised.

Adam felt exhausted all of a sudden. He thought if no one woke him up, he could probably sleep for a hundred years. He had never been more tired. His eyes started to close and he let himself go as his brain shut down. 

_Someone was smiling, and he could feel another person smiling back, the sound of laughter filling every space in the air. He heard a sound, it was music, the chords of a guitar playing in the distance and the smell, what was it? Why did it smell like home? Why was that place so familiar and why did it feel so real when deep down he knew it couldn't be?_

Adam opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He had that feeling you get when you know you've had a dream but when you wake up you can't remember anything. 

Strangely, one word kept resonating in his head.

Home.


	6. Chapter 6

When Blake finished changing his clothes he went downstairs to find Adam but he was already gone.  
He was a little surprised, and a bit disappointed that Adam had decided to disappear, when he had clearly said that they were going to go through "their" options about how to deal with the interview airing and the album.

Blake had realised when they were coming back from the studio, that he hadn't told Adam that he hadn't sung or played any instrument since... well, he didn't even remember. He hadn't told him that he couldn't, which was going to be a bit of an impediment if he was going to have to record a new album.

Blake decided not to worry too much and let Adam handle things. After all, he was his manager. And he didn't care much about things going well, since they had been going wrong for so long now, he was used to it.

 

Adam waited outside Gadreel's office. He'd gone ahead of the planned time but he had felt something in his head again, like it was about to happen. And he didn't want to say it outloud, but he was scared. And he was never scared... that's why he'd come so far. He always looked at things from a different perspective, with a clear head and a cold heart. But his mind was starting to feel tangled, with each one of his thoughts running into the other and his brain trying hard not to explode with each step he took. And his heart... he didn't even want to have to think about how his heart burned as it never had before.

Those were some among the many reasons why he had to tell Gadreel about what was happening. Maybe it was some kind of virus and hopefully not some stupid crush on a man he could never be with.

Adam watched the door open, meaning it was his turn to go in and talk to his boss. He took a deep breath and went in.

"Adam, you're early today." Gadreel said, not a sign of worry or anger in his voice or on his face. Which meant nothing really, as Gadreel was always like that and would kill you if he had to without batting an eyelash. But still, Adam noted it.

"Um, yes. I had to talk to you about something and I'm afraid it couldn't wait any longer."

"I see. Having any problems with your mission, Adam?"

"More or less. I mean, it's not exactly the mission I'm worried about."

"Then, what is it?"

And Adam told him the whole story. The pain in his head, the light coming from his eyes, how he had passed out both times and how he could feel it coming again. He didn't know why but somehow he ended up not mentioning anything about the hole, the dream he'd had earlier or the strange feeling he had that something was very, very wrong.

"Interesting."

Interesting? If he wasn't both his boss and one of the most powerful Angels in Heaven he would've punched the guy. That's all he had to say?

"I was hoping for something of an explanation for this. That is if you have any."

"Certainly, I could give you an answer. But that would only be my opinion."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean, Adam, is that I have seen this happen to other Angels. It doesn't happen frequently, but I've been here for centuries and I have, unfortunately, seen a lot of things."

"But I don't understand. You mean you know what's happening to me but you won't tell me?"

"It is not that I won't tell you, but that I can't. It is different for every Angel. The pain in your head, the hole that gets bigger with every passing second..."

Wait, he had not said anything about the hole.

"How did you-?"

"I know everything. I can feel it, the hole inside you, fighting to get stronger so it can swallow the Angel."

"You mean it wants to eat me?"

Okay, that was not reassuring at all.

"The hole has been there all along Adam. But something triggered it, it was there but silent. And that's why this last mission is so important. It will determine if you are strong enough to win, to withstand that pain and fight it like the superior being you are. If you are not able to do so, it will mean that you don't deserve those wings we gave you."

"Wait, you mean you will get rid of me?"

"Of course not. That hole inside you will do that for us."

Adam was about to speak when Gadreel turned around. The conversation was over. It was no use asking any more questions that weren't going to be answered, so Adam left the room.

The talk with Gadreel had left him with even more questions than before. He was sure there was something he was not telling him. And that bothered him. Since he had been an Angel, not once he had doubted Gadreel or his other superiors. He wasn't even sure there was a God pulling all of their strings. He'd always had his orders and he had never once questioned them. So why the hell were they questioning him now? There had to be a reason, and he wasn't about to sit down and wait for the hole or whatever that was to eat him alive, or for the other Angels to kick him out. That was the only thing he was sure about.

Adam went straight back to Blake's place. He stayed outside the house and stared. He was his first and basically only witness to what had been happening to him. There had to be something that he had missed that Blake hand't.

Adam tried to remember the first time the pain had appeared as vividly as he possibly could. It was when he had first arrived at Blake's house, but he had seen Blake the day before so if the mission had something to do with it, wouldn't the trigger have been activated then?

Maybe it was the house. Something in there that had caused it the first time. The second time he was sitting outside Blake's dressing room, waiting for him to come out. And he was sure he had heard something right before it had happened. But that second time had been different, his eyes turning white, that hadn't happened before.

No matter how much he thought about it, Adam couldn't get anything clear out of it so he went inside. Blake was the only person he could ask, and the only one who had been there both times.

He found Blake in the living room, sitting on the sofa and apparently staring into space.

"Hey, buddy."

The minute Adam spoke, Blake's eyes turned to him. The look on his face was... not the same. Definitely not the same as when he had left earlier that day. And it seemed so familiar, where had he seen that look before...

Before he could ask himself any more questions Blake stood up and walked straight towards him. He stopped right in front of him, while Adam stood still, like something was keeping him from moving.

"You're back." Blake said, and without hesitation he took Adam's face in both his hands and brought him closer to briefly kiss him on the lips.

And Adam heard it again, a clock ticking and a guitar playing.

Tick, tock.

A hand was striking the chords of a guitar and the hole started to act up again. But this time was worse, he felt like he was being electrocuted, he felt his body shaking as it touched the floor and his eyes shut down once more.

_"Please, don't leave me."_

Adam woke up, his body still trembling and his breathing heavy, air trying hard to reach his lungs but having trouble doing so.

"Good god. You are going to a hospital." Blake said.

Adam looked around. He was in Blake's bed, and the other man was sitting next to him.

"This is not something medicine is going to solve."

"Damn right! If you want to die or if you want me to have a heart attack.. Gosh, you gotta get that checked out how are you not freaking out over this?"

"Oh, trust me. I am freaked out."

"Well, it sure ain't look that way to me. That's it, I'm not gonna listen to a word you say until you go to a hospital."

"So you are that worried, huh?"

"W-what? Hell no. I mean, what would the press say if you died on my property?"

"Right."

Adam stopped breathing for a second. Blake had kissed him right before it-

"Please, don't tell me it´s happening again." Blake asked about to freak out for real this time.

"N-no, I don't think so. It's just, I- well, I mean.."

"Crap, you sure it's not happening again?"

"Fuck, no. What I wanted to say is, you know, you kissed me."

Blake's eyes widened the minute he heard Adam say that.

"Wow. It's worse than I thought, now you're even hallucinating. Get up, we are going to the hospital NOW."

"But-"

"Don't even try. We're going. End of story. You need to be alive to manage me, so let's get going."

Adam realised arguing wasn't going to change Blake's mind so he decided to go along with it and at the very least pretend to get checked out at the hospital.

Even though Adam kept saying that he was fine, Blake insisted on helping him get to the car and didn't let go of him until he was sitting inside. Adam had to admit, it was nice having someone to help you when you were at your lowest moment, even if Blake did it for different reasons, it was still nice. And he wondered if he ever had someone like that in his life as a human, how that person would have been like and how special having that must have been if he did have it.

They didn't talk much on the way to the hospital. Blake kept pestering him about not having gone earlier but Adam wasn't really listening. He kept thinking about that kiss.

That damn kiss.

Even though the moment had passed so fast and caused him to almost die again. He couldn't help thinking that he wanted it to happen again. And that wasn't good. Because the moment Blake had touched him, the pain had come back. And he kept thinking, it had to be Blake that triggered the attacks somehow, even if he didn't realize it. But that meant that touching him would slowly lead him to lose everything he had fought so hard to achieve.

He had to be sure it was him.

They got to the hospital and Blake dragged Adam inside, calling for a doctor and doing all the explaining himself without letting Adam say a thing. It was the first time Adam had seen him putting that much effort into something.

Adam managed to convince Blake to wait outside while he got checked out by the doctor. The diagnosis was that he'd had a really bad migraine and he got a prescription for some painkillers. Good enough to get Blake off his back for at least some time.

"A migraine? Where's that doctor, I wanna talk to him. That was NOT a migraine! You were shaking and your eyes weren't your eyes and you were basically dyin-"

"Blake. If the doctors say it's a migraine, let's listen to them. I'll take these painkillers and if it happens again I'll come back, promise."

That seemed to calm Blake down, who stayed quiet during the ride home.

"So, you're staying here tonight. I'm still not convinc-"

"I wasn't going anywhere."

"Oh. Okay, then it's settled."

"But, wait a minute. I want to try something. Give me your hand." Adam said getting closer.

"What is it... you're starting to freak me out again."

"C'mon, just do it. I promise it's nothing weird, it's just a test."

"Alright, alright. If it'll get you to shut up I'll do it."

Blake offered his hand to Adam and he grabbed it.

"Now what?" Blake asked.

That's what Adam wondered. Nothing was happening, he was touching Blake and he didn't feel any pain anywhere. Maybe it wasn't him after all. Or maybe it had to take something more.

"Okay, don't freak out. I'm going to do something right now, but keep in mind that it's another test. I'm doing it because I have to, and not because I want to."

But he wanted to.

Before Blake could protest Adam grabbed Blake by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. It was fast and as soon as their lips were touching Adam took a step back.

Nothing. No pain.

"What in the hell was that for?"

Adam got ready for Blake to start yelling at him or hit him.

"Yeah, sorry about that. The test is over now, I have my answer so you can forget about what just happened. Good night!"

Adam was just about to leave as fast as he could when he heard Blake's voice.

"Wait."

Blake grabbed Adam's arm and turned him around to face him. And now they were too close and Adam would have fallen over if it wasn't for the fact that Blake was holding him when all of a sudden Blake's lips were on his again, but this time, it was not brief or short or fast at all, it was slow and caring and Adam could have sworn that Blake's mouth was made to be on his because it fit so perfectly and he was so gentle and Adam realised, he wasn't feeling any pain, the hole wasn't opening. Nothing was happening. And because of that Adam kissed him back the best way he knew how. Because he hadn't done that before, or at least not since his past life time.

But he could feel that he knew what to do, where to touch and how to put his tongue in all of the right places because Blake wasn't stopping and Adam had no intention of stopping either.

He could worry about the pain later, when he wasn't doing something that felt so right and at the same time hurt so good.

Hurt?

Adam broke the kiss and stepped back, Blake looking like he had no idea what the hell had just happened.

The pain was different. It wasn't in his head. Or anywhere else in his body, but something hurt and he couldn't figure out what it was. It came from somewhere so far and at the same time so close to him.

But if there was something he was sure of, it's that it was definitely because of him. Blake, he was doing something to him.

And he had to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun writing this. As always, thank you SO much for reading and leaving kudos and comments <3


	7. Chapter 7

Adam stared at the ceiling and tried to concentrate. He felt like his gut was trying to tell him something, he just had to figure out what that was.

After the kiss, Blake had gone back to his room without saying a thing, and Adam had the feeling he wasn't going to remember that one happening either, and there had to be a damn reason for that. Adam wasn't dumb enough to believe that every single thing that was happening wasn't connected to him, Blake, or the angels.

If Gadreel hadn't given him a proper explanation, he could only think that either he really didn't know anything or that he knew too much. The higher ups in Heaven really only cared about themselves and their rank, they probably wouldn't even help humans if it wasn't because they were helping themselves as well.

Adam wondered, what would happen if he told Blake what he was, who he was, maybe then...

Again, a guitar started playing in the distance. Same chords he had heard before, playing on repeat. Adam tried to get up but an invisible force made him stay right where he was. Rays of light were everywhere, wherever he looked... he then realized, they were coming from him. His eyes were burning with light, the pain as if someone was trying to dig into his brain. 

Then he saw him.

Blake. He was playing those chords in the guitar. And he felt like it was a memory. That was his memory of Blake playing.

He tried to concentrate on remembering instead of the pain, but it was too much and he lost the image. The room soon became quiet and dark again, and he could move again.

He stood up. Trying to make out what the hell he had just seen. He'd felt like it was something that had been glued to his brain from a long time ago, he just hadn't had access to it. But that meant that he had seen Blake somewhere before, during his human life.

Adam tried to calm himself down, Blake was pretty famous before, it was also possible he had seen him on tv, or that those images meant something else.

He wasn't sure of anything anymore, but he definitely had to tell Blake something, somehow.

Adam spent the night wide awake, which only made him more confused to tell the truth. The morning sun was already coming through the windows and he remembered he had set a date with the only producer who was still willing to work with Blake on his new album.

Just when he was about to call his name, Blake entered the room.

"Hey, mister manager."

"Hey yourself. You look like you slept well."

"Like a damn baby. It's been a while."

"So, lemme guess. You don't remember anything weird happening last night, right?"

"Weird? Like what?" Adam knew it was going to be like that. But he still asked, just in case.

"Mm, nothing. Anyway, we're meeting the producer today so I hope you have at least one new decent song to show him or we'll probably lose this one too."

"That was today? Well, I have some songs from a while ago. But they're not ready, I'm not ready."

"Show me, then. I'll be the judge of that."

Blake froze. He couldn't sing without his guitar. And he couldn't play the damn thing.

"Maybe later. Just postpone the damn meeting."

"I can't do that, Blake. C'mon, just give it a try."

Adam followed Blake to the basement. The old stuff was all there; the awards he'd won, the albums, the guitars. Everything was covered in dust. It was obvious that he hadn't gone in there for a while.

Blake hesitated before picking up his favorite guitar. He wanted to take it but his hands weren't moving from where they were.

Adam stared at him, he knew it was difficult, it was painful to look at what he had been and look at himself now, but he had to take the first step.

Then again, he could probably use a little help. So Adam moved to grab the guitar and the minute the tips of his fingers touched it, the darkness invaded him in a way it never had before. His body collapsed to the floor as if he was being pushed by a force below him.

He could hear the guitar again, and Blake's voice yelling his name in the distance, but it sounded too far. He was losing him again. Again?

"Adam! ADAM! Wake up, damnit! Please, wake up! You need to get out of here!"

Adam blinked twice, his eyes trying to distinguish something in the darkness. Finally, the blurriness went away and he saw Blake.

"Adam? Gosh, finally. Are you okay? can you move?"

"Y-yeah, I think."

Adam looked around, they were in a car, he was wearing his seatbelt but his whole body was sore, and hurt.

Blake had an enormous wound on his forehead and his face was covered in blood. He looked outside the window, seemed like the car had been thrown out of the highway and hit a tree.

It was weird, he was speaking but it wasn't him speaking. He was moving but it wasn't him either. He realized, that it wasn't happening now, that it was something that had happened before and he was just reliving it.

"C'mon, you need to get out of here." Blake said.

"What? Not until you move your ass out of the car."

"Really? Are we going to argue about this too? Do you want both of us to die?"

"What are you saying? No one's dying today. C'mon, take off your seatbelt."

"Would you listen to me for once in your life? Dammit. I can't move, I'm stuck."

"What...?"

That's when Adam saw it. A huge piece of glass from the window had pierced through Blake's body, around the stomach it seemed.

"I'll just take it out."

"Don't, it'll just make things worse. Just." Blake breathed heavily. "Just get out first and call for help, would you? I promise I won't move an inch." Blake said faking a little smile.

Adam tried to open the door on his side but something was blocking it.

"Try my side." Blake said.

Adam carefully tried to open Blake's side's door, it did. He then passed over Blake to get out the other door but he paused for a minute.

"Careful there, cowboy." Adam laughed a bit. "I'm getting you out of here, okay? I'm getting help and getting you out and we'll just laugh about this in the morning, you hear me?"

Blake looked at him, he could feel more blood coming out of his wound the more time passed, which was starting to make him think he wasn't getting out of that car. But Adam couldn't have that last image of him.

"I don't say it much, but you know I-"

"Don't you dare say that to me right now, you can say it later cause nothing's going to happen to you. Save it for later."

"But-"

"No buts."

Adam held Blake's face and gave him a hopeful smile while he prayed for him to be okay while he looked for help.

He managed to get out of the car and started running towards the highway.

Before he could see what happened next, he awoke in Blake's basement only to find the other man unconscious on the floor next to him.

"Blake..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who were reading this, I'm so sorry that this took so long!   
> I promise I will post the rest soon, two or three more chapters to go! Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

"Blake!" Adam yelled while grabbing onto Blake's collar to try to wake him up. "Oh c´mon, snap out of it!"

All of a sudden, Blake's eyes opened and Adam was hopeful for a second that passed way too fast. He had opened his eyes alright, but Blake wasn't there, there was nothing in that blank stare and as fast as his eyes had opened, they closed again.

Adam checked his pulse, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. His heart wasn't even going faster than normal... it seemed like he was just sleeping but then, why wasn't he waking up?

He thought of taking him to the hospital but what good would have that made when deep down he knew exactly where he needed to go.

He tried to make Blake as comfortable as possible before leaving, he had contemplated taking him to his room but he was too heavy and he didn't want to waste any time.  
He could make the trip to Gadreel himself but being summoned directly by him was always faster, he just had to concentrate as hard as he could. He closed his eyes until his eyeballs started to burn and he called the angel's name inside his head louder than he'd ever have. Then he felt it, sudden rush of adrelanine pumping through his body, that feeling, his spirit being pushed out of his body by a hidden force and seconds later when it all stopped, there he was, standing in front of Gadreel, who didn't look very pleased to see him.

Adam had no time to spare so he got right to the point.

"What have you done to him?"

"You are aware that the line you just used is for emergencies only-"

"Oh my god, screw your stupid rules! This IS an emergency! I'll only ask one more time and you better answer with something I can understand."

"Please, Adam. Do you think your threats work on me? Who do you think you're talking to, boy? I could step on you like a little bug whenever I feel like it, so why don't you rethink your strategy now?"

Adam had never seen Gadreel like that before. His facial expression hadn't changed, and somehow, he was scarier that he'd ever been before. And the worst of all, he was right.

Adam was nothing, Gadreel didn't have to tell him anything unless he wanted to.

"You're lucky I have a bit of a soft spot for you." Gadreel said as he started to walk towards him slowly. "Are you sure you can handle the truth?"

No, he wasn't. Definitely not. But he'd run out of options.

"I'm ready," Adam said.

"Very well."

Adam stayed still while Gadreel extended his hand and touched his shoulder briefly. Right after he felt Gadreel's energy running through his body, his insides started to turn like they wanted to get away from him. Adam wanted to turn back but it was too late. It was there already, that darkness, the pain in his head, spreading to the rest of his body.

His lungs burned as he tried to breathe, something poking at his heart with a needle and there he was again.

Accident site. Middle of the road, looking for help.

So he was right. That was real. It had happened. He could see through his own eyes what he had done at the time. He was hurt, but he could see lights in the distance which meant that the road was near, so he ran, he ran as fast as his legs let him while screaming and hoping someone would hear him. But somehow, even if he could see the road, it only kept getting smaller and further away from him.

Suddenly, a figure in front of him made him stop.

"Please, there's been an accident.."

A tall, dark-haired man wearing a gentleman like suit stood in front of him, which Adam kept thinking was weird since there was no road to be seen anywhere and he could have swore he had appeared out of nowhere, but he had to shut down those thoughts as he was a little too desperate to find help and he doubted he would find anyone else in time.

"Hello, Mister... wait a second-" the man stopped talking to reach for his pocket and took out a folded piece of paper which he proceeded to quickly unwrap. "Ah, yes. Excuse my memory, it's been a long day. Mister Levine, am I correct?"

"Look, I don't have time for writing autographs right now. There's been an accident, we need to get help right now, I left him there alone-"

"Mister Levine, I'm afraid to tell you that Mister Shelton's time is almost up. There's nothing you could do even if the ambulance was here already. The blow to his chest has caused irreparable damage to major organs. I am very sorry to be the one to deliver of such terrible news."

Adam didn't know why, but somehow, he seemed to believe the nonsense that man was sprouting. He wanted to scream, he wanted to grab that man by that perfectly ironed stupid suit and punch him until he told him what he wanted to know. But he couldn't move, he could only know that it was the truth. And the worst is that he'd probably known since he had left him in the car.

"Now, it must be your- or dare I say, mister Blake Shelton's lucky day because we were waiting for you, Adam. Excuse my rudeness, is Adam okay?"

Funny of him to ask, since no matter how much he tried, Adam could only keep nodding at everything the bastard said.

"I'll speak more comfortably then, Adam. I'm going to explain this to you in the easiest way possible. There's a list. And you were on it. We were, how can I say it, kind of waiting for the right moment to approach you. Yes, that's probably it. And that moment has come. You have a chance to save your friend. The rules are simple, one life for another. In this case, you for him. Not that we will kill you or anything, but you will lose the life you've known until now. To gain a better one, that is. And of course the best part, Blake will keep living and he won't even remember any of this happening, or you. How about that?"

Adam felt like someone was punching him in the brain with confusing words he couldn't understand. His brain was about to collapse from trying so hard to process all that information that sounded so insanely stupid but that he knew he had to accept. And he had to make a choice, and it was Blake's life on the line, that he understood perfectly.

"Do whatever you have to do. Just, save him."  
The words slipped out of Adam's mouth as if they were nothing.

"I figured that much. Very well, Adam. Before we proceed, I'm obliged by the law to tell you about the conditions of the deal, as you call it."

Adam would have laughed if he'd been able to move at least the muscles in his face.

Everything sounded so ridiculous if it wasn't because he had just left Blake to bleed out in his car and he feared few things in life, but he was fucking terrified of losing him.

Adam then realized he was starting to lose the clear image of the man standing in front of him and in the fine forest rain a black smoke started to form and rise from his feet, surrounding him little by little, slowly filling every space until the only thing he could see was darkness.

And all he could think about was him. Blake. Blake.

Blake cracking unfunny jokes at him just before the sun rose in the mornings, Blake in front of his room's window looking outside with a cup of coffee in his hands while Adam looked at him quietly from the bed and Blake putting on those stupid cowboy boots Adam had grown to tolerate, and him giving him a brief kiss goodbye when they left separately right after.

And Adam had known then he was in too deep. There had never been any drama between them, no big revelations about how they felt about each other, they had always known. It had just taken them a while to act on those feelings. Before everything, everyone had seemed to notice how they stared at each other for a second too long, how their casual conversations never had an end because time or other people didn't really exist when they were together in the same room. Everyone, but them. Adam hadn't realized how he had trouble keeping his eyes on Blake's instead of that infectious smile that his lips formed and Blake never noticed how much he'd wanted to kiss Adam everytime he was an inch too close to him. Until they did.

And it had been amazing. Getting to know each other in a different way, experimenting all the first times and Adam had grown to love him as more than a friend, as a lover, as part of him, as family.

The only problem was that Adam had the impression of being the pillar of the relationship, the feeling that if he collapsed everything would with him no matter the reason. Blake's upbringing, being from a pretty conservative family, had been different from his, he would have never been taught that a bond of more than friendship could be possible between two men. And still, there he was, sleeping beside him every night, but Adam still knew that it was difficult for Blake to think that somehow, he was disappointing his family. But even if he knew, it still hurt to see that Blake wasn't entirely comfortable with discussing his feelings with him.

The last memory he had of him was of that morning. Destiny's indeed a funny bastard. Adam thought. He remembered waking up to Blake sitting next to him holding his guitar and looking at him. Adam, still trying to adjust his eyes to the light and trying not to let sleep take over him again had asked him, "Enjoying the view?"

Blake had laughed at that statement, seemingly satisfied with himself for some reason.

"Partly yes, I can't say I wasn't recreating myself there for a tiny moment. But, that ain't the reason. I was working, if you must know."

"Uh huh. That's what they're calling it these days."

Blake's smile widened right before taking a proper hold of his guitar and putting his hands on three specific chords. Watching Blake play guitar had always been one of his favorite things about being with him. Adam played as well but he had to admit he probably liked watching him more. Probably had to do with something about how he had a bit of a kink for Blake's hands. Especially when they were on him. But there was something else about them.. they were not conventionally beautiful to look at, they had years of work behind them and they looked strong, but you could see those years on them, the hard lines and old scars that opened when the weather got too cold and Adam just liked to feel that sharp surface that he knew held so much underneath.

Adam listened closely as Blake started to play a melody plucking the strings with his bare fingers and looking right at him as he did. Adam could have sworn Blake was literally in his head in that moment. He wasn't even sure why, but somehow, it sounded like the most perfect succession of chords he'd heard in a long time. Like it had been made just for his ears to listen, for him to experience. Blake stopped just in time for Adam to recover his composture and be able to articulate a sentence that was more than indiscernible mumbles.

"What did I just listen to?"

"Well, hopefully, a song. Or part of it, at least."

"That's what you were working on these past few weeks?"

"Yes, sir. And, before you ask, I wasn't sure I was heading in the right direction so I may or may not have been playing bits of it to you while you were asleep.."

Adam had tried very hard not to laugh at that confession. That was probably the sweetest thing he had ever heard Blake say to him. And he hated that word, with a passion, but there really was no other way to describe it. No wonder the song sounded familiar to him, he'd been listening to it for quite a while now. The idea of Blake being nervous about showing a song to him was amusing to say the least. The way he always liked to brag about his wonderful composing skills in front of everyone when in reality he was probably the most insecure when showing his work to other people.

"So? Did I like it?" Adam asked, a grin between pride and affection starting to show on his face.

"Well, you certainly made some approving noises if that counts for anything."

The image of Blake from that morning started to gradually fade from his view and again the man from before appeared clearly before his eyes.

"Adam? Yes. I'm glad that you're with me again. As I was saying before this little interruption, if you still agree with the previous conditions I explained to you, you will be trained as a soldier, a soldier of, well, God. You will be responsible of different tasks, each one more important as you progress, those are the basics. Your training will be more specific about those terms but as of now, that's all I can tell you. Anyway, there will be several chances to elevate your rank if you choose to, and different tests to show your loyalty to Heaven and they will not be easy. You will be faced with extracts of your past lives, either people you held close to you or a job you might have been invested in before the change. Either way, you don't want to know what happens to an Angel that remembers his past life, just keep that in mind and I'm sure you'll never have to. Ah, yes. I knew I was forgetting something, don't worry too much about feeling something weird in your body from now on, as it turns out, we're taking part of what you are, or were, away from you so you may feel a bit of a blank space here and there, very much like a black hole that might cause you some stress from time to time, but nothing you won't get accustomed too I'm sure. And with that, I think that's all I can say for now, good luck."

Adam felt himself back in his current body, all the pieces in the puzzle that were his mind and soul struggling to glue themselves back together and fit in the right places. He couldn't get his eyes to open still, little waves of memories tugged at him, tried to return where they belonged, but the hole was strong and it wouldn't let him remember, they were too damaged, there were too many cracks. He couldn't stand it, he wasn't ready to take them back. Adam heard himself scream as he finally managed to come back to his senses and grasp the situation he was in.

Gadreel stood before him, still as graceful and unaffected as ever. Adam couldn't read him, did that man feel a thing at all? No remorse, no regrets. Was that God's prerogative now? What about the goal he'd been working towards? A world where you can step on the so called lesser people for the greater good? It was like being punched in the gut several times, the kind of hit that leaves you gasping but still you can't get the air through to your lungs. He felt betrayed, he felt like a useless puppet whose strings had been broken, what to do now?

Considering things from a different perspective. That is, not his. The Angels had saved Blake from a sure death, but- In that exact point in time, his mind recollected all the bits and pieces, he hand't even had a second to actually assimilate the images in his head. Of course Blake had been familiar the first time he'd seen him, of course they both felt those little dashes of intimacy that happened so casually as if they were nothing new, of course he was falling for him all over again. Because it was him, it was always going to be him.

Gadreel scooped him out of his thoughts when he eventually spoke. "You feel that, Adam?"

Even if Adam didn't know what the hell he was talking about, somehow he did, he nodded.

"I know you do. That big nasty black void closing around you, breathing you in. That's what happens when Angels revisit old memories, and you've only recovered part of it, think about what will happen to you if you keep this up. You will be gone, you will be nothing. Of course, you have a choice."

Adam knew he wouldn't like that choice very much.

"Sever those links that keep you from ascending, that keep you stuck to the ground when you should be above, your purpose is to control those fools, not be one of them."

"Fools? Is that what people are to you? I thought we were the good guys."

"And we are. If we weren't there to get rid of the bad roots the world would never be able to grow by itself. You really think humans got to this point alone? Not without an invisible hand pulling the strings, no. I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in you, son."

"Likewise."

Adam kept his eyes focused on the other Angel, they burned with rage. His hands trembled with frustration, knowing he there was nothing he could do. Kill him? He would be dead before the thought even crossed his mind. Call for help? Who would he call? The only thing he could do was buy time, at least for Blake's sake.

"So what are you suggesting I do?"

"I'm just saying if you don't want to die, just forget. You forgot once, you can do it again."

"I thought you said it was you who erased my memories."

"Well, of course, we gave you a little push but it was easy with you, because you wanted to forget."

Adam didn't believe that for a second, he wanted to forget? His whole life? Including Blake?

"Yes, you did."

"What, so now you read minds too?" Adam said, awared of the Angel answering to a question only heard in his head.

"Now, don't be silly. If you could look at the state you're in, Adam. You're just very easy to read, that's all."

"Well, just in case, I'd appreciate it if you got the fuck out of my head."

"I'm glad you sense of humour is still working, unlike the rest of your body."

It caught Adam by surprise. His only focus the last few minutes had been kept in reorganizing his mind, or trying at least. He'd paid no attention whatsoever to the rest of his body, which he realized now was paralyzed completely. How he still managed to stand, it was probably Gadreel's doing.

"What have you done?"

"You probably don't believe me, but I've done nothing. This is just the natural response to what you're going through. The link between your mind and body is closing up, and soon, your mind will be consumed by the memories, it will be too much to handle and then... bang! You will be no more."

Adam didn't remember Gadreel even speaking like that. He wondered how much he didn't know, how much he hadn't even bothered to find out since he'd been working for him. But it really wasn't every day you woke up to find you're dead and an angel on top of that, so he'd really had nowhere else to turn to even if he'd wanted to. Or maybe he was just that good at making excuses for himself, and he'd been too much of a coward to even about what had been thrown in his face.

"What do I have to do?" Adam asked reluctlanly, after taking all his anger and fury and putting it inside a little bottle inside of him, hoping the glass wouldn't torn his insides apart when it shattered, and he wasn't very confident he could keep staring at that asshole in the face without that happening. But when he thought about Blake, it made it easier to go on.

"See, that wasn't so hard. I knew you still had it in you to pick the right side. Well, it's simple really. Of course there isn't a big red button you can go ahead and push that will magically erase Blake and all your memories from your head but, the trick is to do it little by little. The smoke may be blinding now, all you see is darkness, but with time, it will just disappear and turn into a distant fog that will eventually turn to nothing, and then, imagine this, light, all the way to eternity. Before you ask, the first step would be to, well, leave Blake alone, let him follow his path."

"Wasn't I supposed to save him?"

"Oh well, that wasn't the point, Adam. That was just our little test for you, and it just so happened that Blake was a crucial part of it. You weren't really supposed to see each other again."

"What will happen to him?"

"Nothing that wasn't going to happen in the first place, even if you hadn't intervened."

Adam could feel some movement returning to his limbs as he noticed his palms turning into fists.

"Oh, Adam. For the love of God. Don't try so hard. You'll only hurt yourself. Blake has been a lost cause for a while now. Contrary to popular belief, destiny isn't written on stone, so like I said, whatever happens to Blake, it's what was supposed to happen all along, so don't take it too personally. Remember your training."

"To hell with the training. If I do this, I want Blake safe, I want him out of this."

"I give you my word."

"How do I know you won't kill him the second I forget he exists?"

"An Angel's word is no laughing matter, Adam. Specially mine." Gadreel paused to stare at Adam. He could feel the weight of his eyes on him, they were heavy and defying, like he was daring him to question his statement.

"Fine. I'll do it. But before I leave," _Before I leave him._ "I need to make sure he's okay." _I don't want to leave him._

Words and thoughts without meaning spiralled through his head, trying to put something together in the little time he knew he had. But it was useless, there was no plan to come up with, Gadreel had him exactly where he wanted and there was nothing else he could do but to make sure at least Blake got out unharmed.

Gadreel gave Adam one day to wrap up his matters on Earth, which meant he only had twenty four hours to remember Blake, to somehow try to fix him before leaving, to forget him knowing that he'd be okay without him.

Something had stuck with him after he'd been slowly recovering bits and pieces from his human life. He definitely remembered reading Blake's file, one the reasons for his downfall, his depression, his current life, had been losing his wife. Now, had Blake married some woman after the accident or were those fake memories someone had put inside Blake's head?

Adam scratched those thoughts away from his mind. Either way, it didn't matter anymore.

One day wasn't nearly enough time to tell Blake everything that had crossed his mind in the last two hours, much less explain to him that he was an Angel, that he'd been- that he was in love with him, that at some point Blake had felt the same. And Adam wasn't sure about that part being true either, nothing felt real anymore, his memories sure didn't, just parts of a dream whispered a long time ago.

Blake woke up in the middle of a dusty cloud which almost made him cough his guts out.

Took him a bit to figure out he was still in his own basement since it was almost too dark to see anything. He carefully stood up and made his way though the dark with his hands up front in case he stumbled upon any of the garbage he had collected there over the years. Lucky for him, he reached the wall and touched his way upon the light power switch, which he turned on. Still trying to get rid of the dust by waving his hands around, he remembered Adam being with him there right before he'd passed out, and he clearly wasn't now. Well, that's not very nice. Blake thought.

When he was about to get out of there to find Adam so he could kick his ass for leaving him, he remembered his guitar. He'd been about to play it before whatever the hell had happened to him. Maybe he'd caught something of off Adam. That kinda made sense in his head at least.

"Okay, baby. Let's do this." Blake encouraged himself before finally touching the head of his guitar. It was very dusty, no surprise there. It was a kind of dark reddish acoustic old guitar, the first he'd bought with his own money, it wasn't even a famous brand or anything, it had so many scratches you could barely see the paint job underneath anymore and it didn't even sound that good in comparison to the expensive ones he'd been able to afford later on but, it was still his baby.

Blake's fingers travelled across the fretboard, the strings making unheard sounds which got lost in the little air that was left in the room. He had almost reached the body of the guitar when something made him pull away. Puzzled, Blake put his hand back where it was and stretched his fingers, surprised at the burning sensation that followed, as if he'd put his fingers on top of a giant flame of fire. And somehow, it didn't quite hurt as Blake figured it should. Following that, he was still intent on playing the damn thing, if only to find out what the hell was wrong with it, so he finally positioned the guitar on his lap and both hands in the correct places. Almost automatically, he started playing.

Wait, that song...

That song did burn him completely. Burned his fingers, his hands, and it travelled throughout his whole body, and at some point, it had started to hurt, real bad. But his fingers kept going. Same song, very little chords, the same ones, over and over again, played with more intensity each time the sequence repeated. But then he stopped. And he heard it, heard the song in his head, inside of his body, resonating through every muscle, running in his blood like it had always been there, silent and waiting.

The moment Blake stood up, dizziness kicked in like a cruel wave, taking over his body, his head was a mix of feelings long forgotten and resentment because something had clicked inside when the pain stopped; he remembered that song, he remembered who he'd written it for, who- Blake's fists closed around the guitar's fret in agony, like something would happen if he let go of it, the strings buried under his skin, branding him.

Adam stood outside Blake's basement, where he'd left him earlier. He knew he was still in there but he still stood there, paralyzed and terrified that no matter what road he chose, they all would end in having to leave Blake, and he wasn't sure if he had the strength to do it all over again, even if it meant he would save him, he was selfish, he didn't want to live with the feeling that someone had ripped his insides apart again.

If all the roads led to the same path, Adam figured it was no use wasting time on thinking about the inevitable and throwing away his last chance at making a one last good memory with Blake, even if that memory would be buried underneath himself forever in some hours.

With all that in mind, Adam grabbed the door's handle, took in a deep breath and opened the door. Took him a few seconds to adjust his eyes to the fragile atmosphere, a little ray of light coming out of an almost out of time bulb, on and off. The ambient heavy with humidity, cold and scorching heat.  
Blake was standing with his back to him, motionless, the muscles on his shoulders stiff, contracted as if he'd been paralyzed.

"Blake?" Adam called silently, not even sure he'd heard himself speak.

When Blake didn't answer, Adam advanced with careful steps to go around Blake and face him. He was holding his guitar, looking down at it, struggling to keep pressing his hands to it, even if he could see the blood running down his fingers, his arms shaking heavily. Adam's heart jumped in his chest, what was he supposed to do next?

"Blake... you're bleeding."

Blake still didn't even flinch at that statement, his eyes lost in him. Adam reached out to take hold of Blake's hand.

"Blake, listen to me. You have to let go. Please." Adam sounded desperate, which he very much was, as he tugged at Blake's hand, hoping the man would react.

"I- I can't."

Adam was relieved to at least hear him speak, small victory, but it was something.

"Of course you can. C'mon, just take my hands instead."

For the first time since he'd entered the room, Blake looked up and met his eyes, looking at him like he never had, like he knew, like he remembered. And there they were, full of regrets and full of anger and misunderstandings and wasted time, as Blake finally let go of the guitar and grabbed both Adam's hands with so much desperation Adam almost broke down in tears. A hollow sound echoed in the room as Blake's guitar dropped to the floor. The space between them empty at last.

But neither of them moved, just kept staring at each other as if their eyes possessed the answers to all the questions both of them had, searching for them. Adam wasn't sure what had happened to Blake in the space of time he'd been gone, didn't know what was going on inside his head, he couldn't read him like he always had and he was scared shitless to take the next step.

Lucky for him, he didn't have to. Blake took a step forward slowly, closing the space between them. Adam was scared, preparing himself for the worst, maybe get screamed at, maybe get punched, but he definitely didn't expect Blake to slowly put his arms around him and rest his head on his shoulder, like he did.

Adam stopped breathing for a second, until he felt Blake hanging onto him like it was life or death and he didn't know what else to do but to hug him back strongly, finally being able to breathe again in Blake's arms, his heart racing uncontrollably at the realization of what he'd missed. Adam didn't know how much time they stood there holding each other silently, but it was Blake who broke off contact first to look at him.

"Blake-"

"Sshh." Blake stopped him. "No more talking for today."

Adam didn't know how tell him how it would probably be the last day they ever talked, how to explain everything that had happened, how to ask him what he knew, but before he could speak Blake's mouth was on his, gentle and slow, asking for permission, which took Adam two seconds to give, inviting Blake into his mouth, kissing him back and deepening the kiss until his knees started shaking. Blake's hands moved, one to cup the back of his neck, the other positioned on his hip, making their bodies rub against each other. 

"Blake-" Adam managed to blurt out between kisses.

Blake never stopped kissing him as he pinned Adam against the nearest wall, still moving against him. Adam could feel his erection growing inside his pants, hurting as Blake's own brushed against it, searching for friction.  
Adam didn't remember ever having an erection in his two years as an Angel, it was all in his training, Angels didn't need the release, seems like you lost all stamina when you became one and he'd thought that to be true since he hadn't felt nothing in his body that told him otherwise, that part of him had probably died when he'd lost Blake, but it was back again in all its glory, and he craved it, he didn't know how much until he'd felt Blake's hands on him. He needed him inside of him, he had to feel that connection one last time.

Blake's hands dropped down to his waist to undo his belt and trousers. Once they were on the floor his boxers suffered the same fate and Blake turned him around, pressing against him even more from behind. There was no more kissing, no more foreplay, no nothing as Adam knew what they both wanted, release, freedom.

"C'mon, Blake." Adam whispered against the wall. 

He probably wasn't ready, it'd been too long, but fuck, he was still an Angel and he didn't care if it hurt, he wanted to feel it, he wanted that moment to be so carved under his skin he would still remember it no matter what Gadreel did to him. 

Adam felt Blake's fingers on his entrance, circling it with something hot and sticky, probably his own saliva but he wasn't about to complain and stop him to get something else, he opened him up with one finger, slowly and teasing. After two and three Blake removed his fingers and positioned himself. He went in easy, carefully squeezing inside him and after a few seconds that felt like hours he was deep in there, moving and thrusting against him increasing the rhythm as he went, making Adam go crazy, the wild sensation envolving him until he couldn't even hear himself think. It was just them, the sound of his moans lost in Blake's touch.  
Adam was so hard it was starting to hurt, but he didn't want the moment to end, ever. He wanted to keep going, keep listening to the clapping sound of Blake's hips against his as he buried his cock inside of him. But for the looks of it, Blake was barely holding it together. He held him close, Adam could hear him whispering inaudible words against his ear, his breathing heavy and thick on his neck.

Adam pushed back even more so Blake could fill him, getting even closer. Blake's hand travelled to his cock and took it in his hand, jerking him off fast and messy as both of them finally reached their climax. Adam came in Blake's hand soon after he felt Blake release inside of him, hot and heavy.  
Blake collapsed against his back, his breathing uneven while Adam grabbed onto the wall trying to make sense of what had just happened and getting a hold of himself. Blake was still inside of him, and Adam wished he could just stay there because the moment they got out of that basement, things were going to get real ugly, real fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long. Sorry about that! The good news is that the next chapter will be the last one. I was going to squeeze everything in here but it was getting a bit long so yeah, bear with me for one more chapter! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I´m excited about this one. Next chapter will be up soon.  
> Thanks sourpatch-k for beta-ing.


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